voted most likely in high school to be the most prideful, jealous, possessive person on the PLanet 

i Disgust mysefl

do you know how exhausting it is to Hold in tears all day everyday for the past couple of months ? to pretend to be happy? its so Fucking tiring

my body wants to break down i can feel it with every muted emotion, every bated breath every quiver of my lip and stifled scream 

unscrew the cork. open the flood gate s. theyre stuck, im stuck

i want.. no i need to cry until im dehydrated . 

i can only imagine how good that would feel. like a ruined orgasm

Things I excel at

+making my best friend cry/feel unloved/think i hate them

"I think that when you have a connection with someone it never really goes away, you know? You snap back to being important to each other, because you still are."

.., :-)

to the ppl who keep asking how ive been, how am i doing, am i ok?:

is my silence not a loud enough answer? how dyou think? 

im awful. im sorry if i ddont want to talk about school or my parents or work or anything im not in a very happy place right now please be understanding 

how would you ffeel? honestly.

anguished ha;f monster half human voice: whats HAPPENING TO ME ?! 


dunno why i Would have to say this but do not reblog anything from this blog

have some common decency., i come on here to hide from everyone and hell im not even articulate

just.. I know you’re reblogging cuz you’re feeling the same way so please.. Respect me and my words and my feelings if you know how I Feel.


i feel like being alone a lot and ditching my friends is easier than explaining myself 

explaining why im sad why im avoiding talking to everyone 

i do this a lot when i get really depressed

and thats just normal for me…

moms been crying all night and things are becoming finalized tomorrow 

dunno how to feel

i cried a little bit. mostly im scared

nothing i can do. i wish i still was a religious person. maybe i’ll ask mom to go back to church after all this blows over…